I have toyed with starting up this blog for quite a while now. And every time I thought "OK, I'm going to DO it," as soon as I sat in front of the computer, my motivation fizzled. Big time.
Why?
Well, from my introduction you can see that the thoughts I plan on sharing here have to do with "God" as in big G. And since I hold on to a view that truth, by it's very nature and definition must at some point be absolute...well.
I was afraid. Yes. I was afraid of some of the things I'd be writing, because of the potential (likelihood) that I would offend someone. Daily.
Why am I afraid of offending people? (rhetorical questions are so great, eh?)
That is a pretty complicated question, and here is the thinking on it I have so far:
1. I am a chicken. Now you know. At heart, I am a chicken, and I really am afraid that someone will write me an ugly comment, tell me I am a judgmental, fundamentalist, idiot whose time would best be used in a taking a long hike ending in death. No, seriously, have you read some of the comments people make? And I am afraid that someone would write that to me, and then I'd cry and feel bad for days.... YES SERIOUSLY. Look, despite the fact I am "outspoken" I might actually be afraid of what even complete strangers say because I might be sensitive.
2. Going along with being a chicken about hateful comments, I am also afraid that I might lose a friend or two, or maybe just some acquaintances. If you have not figured it out by now, yes, I am a person who really wants people to like me. I don't want any of my friends to decide they better stop hanging out with me.
These first two are about me. Undoubtedly self-serving and self-centred reasons. One reason why I knew I should reject them as reasons not to post openly my thoughts about important things.
More compelling is:
3. I am afraid that I will offend someone and it might be because I let my desire to be "clever" (sarcastic? biting? superior?) take over and it would be MY fault they were offended. Some days I think I am pretty witty and intelligent. Some days I might not get a much needed reality check before I sit down here. And what I say, I want to say out of love for other people and love for the truth, hand in hand, and not let any desire to impress with my wit or smarts take over.
4. Often when I see "offend" what I am thinking is that a person might now have irretrievably shut the door on a TRUTH which they need because it was delivered "the wrong way." Herein lies no small problem. Some truths are at heart offensive. "You have halitosis." Just as an example. For some people a deprecating smile, a stick of gum offered in hand with the comment "I love a stick of gum, it sure helps me when I can't get to a toothbrush," well, that might be like hitting em on the head. They might now realize "Oh, I think they are saying I have bad breath, maybe this is chronic, maybe I need to use mouthwash every morning or chew lots of gum."
But this is not everyone. Some of us might say "Oh, no thanks, I don't like gum" and have NO CLUE that we actually were offered the gum due to less than stellar breath.
Now that I have totally confused you, no, I am NOT saying that any of YOU have halitosis. I'm just saying that the very nature of truth may at times be unpleasant and you might not like to hear it no matter how nicely it is said. Also, subtly and hints can be confusing. Saying it straight out like it is can be offensive. What is a person to do?
So, taking a very real example, saying I believe in the concept of "sin" might make people feel a bit worried about what is coming next. I can nicely dance around this concept, couching it in terms like "we all make mistakes" or "nobody is perfect" or "to be human is to have regrets," etc, etc.
Out of fear of offending people, I HAVE done this. And then found myself disingenuous, upon later reflection. Because really, a "mistake" is an error in judgment. And while "sin," I would agree, is absolutely an error in judgement, it is a moral error, and a spiritual error, which a mistake is NOT. Right? Kind of an important distinction.
And the truth is, I believe that the concept "sin" is not just a concept but a reality. I DO believe that there are actions and/or attitudes that are morally and spiritually wrong and I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Oh, except to add that in deciding what attitudes and actions go under the umbrella of "sin," God's Word, the Bible, is the absolute standard.
At this point (and it is my very first blog too) I may have already managed to turn quite a few people really off this blog. Talking about sin straight up right off the bat is sorta uncouth in some circles, eh? Anyone want a stick of gum right now? (ha ha, weak joke.) Some one might be reading this and going "Oh, I KNOW where this blog is going! I don't need to come back here!"
Well, oddly enough, the point of this blog is NOT to write about sin, though I'm sure it might get a mention occasionally, that is not the driving force. I've been thinking a LOT lately about things like: mysticism, free will, post modernism, how to read the Bible, discernment, spirituality, what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit, God's love, the "apocalypse"... see what I mean?
I have a lot I'd like to write about. But the seeds of disagreement are buried in these topics. And therein lies the potential to offend some. Honest disagreement CAN NOT validate a dissenting opinion... which means, I'm not a relativist. I find saying "It's true for you, but not for me" to be one of the most irrational things one can say. Here is a quote a recently heard, but I can't tell ya where it originated, sorry. "Truth without love is a killer, but love without truth is a liar."
So the point of this post is to be honest with you about the fact that I'm going to be honest with you. And that I am afraid to be that honest. Because there might be some of you out there reading this that I do love. And I don't want to hurt you by disagreeing with you. But I'm not prepared to be a liar about what I think and believe.
Now you know. Logically, I think the next blog I'll be writing will be some thoughts about the Bible. That is a pretty big topic. There may be a few blogs. So, THIS one is going to be about the Bible, about Rob Bell (guy who wrote Love Wins & Velvet Elvis), church authority, and some personal stuff about me.
Now this a blog (or stream of thought) that I can follow as who does not like open debates on such a breadth of socially relevant topics.
ReplyDeleteFirst, my Darlin', an opposing point of view is nothing to cry about or feel bad about as one must see this blog as a movie where you are detached from the outcome (agreement or opposition). A person's opinion is just their point of view in the world and offense should not be taken for this by either party involved. This is not a chicken out, but a chin up.
Secondly, one should not lose or win friends based on differing perspectives, but if you do then that person will leave this blog unenlightened and you should not regret her/his choice.
Thirdly, sin as a reality might be challenged as Webster's Dictionary defines reality as "that which has actual existence; fact; truth; an actual person or thing", thus if you are only basing sin as per the Bible or God's , then what about the readers who agnostics or athesists or just plain confused about the idea? Think more broadly in terms of synonyms for sin such as "crime", "iniquity", "immorality", or "outrage" as this might provide a more universal perspective for both you and the readers.
Fourthly, a dissenting opinion and an honest disagreement are one in the one as the former can be defined as a disagreeing point of view and the latter as an good disparity. What is true for you may not be true for me as we may use different lenses to see what is "true". This is not irrational or illogical or unreasonable or confused or foolish, but reality. Disagreement will only hurt someone if that person is tied to the outcome (positive or negative), and thus one should not take offense when one choses to enter into dialogue with another.
Finally, words such as truth, love, honesty, and liar has not to do with each other. My love is not based on another person's believing in my truth and I can certainly be truthful to another without more than a kind compassion (not love) for her/him. I appreciate that you are using this blog to write about such interesting and debatable subjects, thus remember this is not a chickening out, but more a chin up.
I look forward to reading your next blog. xo T